Things You Never Knew Existed

Friday, November 20, 2009

Currency Things

Coins are cool for three reasons:

1. They're money - and who doesn't like money?
2. They're art - and who doesn't like art?
3. They're a slice of history - and who doesn't like history? (Okay, so I might be stretching with that one.)

My grandfather collected coins, which is how I got interested in numismatics when I was a kid.

He used to buy big bags of unsearched coins, like this pound of pennies. We'd sit under the bright light at the kitchen table searching for the dates and mint marks that identified a rare treasure. More often than not, we found one or two coins that he'd add to his collection and several more that I lacked for my own. For example, in the bag of pennies at left, you could find a 1909 penny with the sculptor's initials, which could be worth up to $3,000 or an increasingly rare 1943 steel penny.

But maybe you don't have time or maybe searching coins isn't for you. So, here at Things we do our best to come up with authenticated coins for your collection. For example, our rare pennies set gives you four increasingly rare U.S. pennies, including a 100-year old Indian Head Penny. Also included are the famous Lincoln Wheat Cent, the shining Lincoln Steel Cent and the first Lincoln Memorial Cent. The set comes encased in a clear protective display case that allows you to view the flip sides of each coin.

Here's a collectible coin that--although it's legal tender--will never be released into circulation: The silver clad Lincoln Dollar. Authorized by the Republic of Liberia, this dollar coin celebrates the 200th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's birthday. It's triple-dated for Lincoln's birth, 1809; Lincoln's first appearance on the U.S. cent, 1909, and the 1ooth anniversary of the first appearance of the Lincoln cent, 2009.

This might not be a coin, but it's a highly collectible piece of currency. Only one percent of bills printed are are two-dollar bills, which is why you don't see them very often in circulation. Here at Things, we uncovered a bunch of gold ones! Each of these genuine, legal tender two-dollar bills has been painstakingly gold gilded with 22 karat gold leaf. Each bill is guaranteed to be in uncirculated condition and each comes in in a clear protective plastic holder.

This is my favorite of all of our new money Things: The World's Most Expensive Coin. The authentic 1933 gold Saint-Gaudens $20 coin is the most valuable coin the world. There is only one legal 1933 double eagle coin in existence. In 2002, it sold at auction for a record-breaking $7.5 million! Our 24kt gold clad tribute proof is a bit more affordable at $9.99. Minted under the highest quality standards and struck multiple times for razor sharp details and a shining finish, it's the next best Thing to the legal version.

Well, now that I'm done playing with my money, I think I'll wander out to the warehouse. Christmas is coming, you know, and this year it's my job to pick out Things for stocking stuffers for the whole family. There is no way I'm going to the mall, so I'll be back on Black Friday to let you know what I found.

Bobby

Friday, November 13, 2009

Holly Jolly Things

I showed you some cool novelty Things for Christmas last week, so today I thought I'd show you some useful holiday Things that also just happen to be fun, too.

One of my favorite new Things this year is the auto reindeer dress-up kit. It fits just about any car and attaches or detaches easily. I love the looks I get when I'm driving around with my car all decked out like Rudolph. The plush antlers actually jingle, too.

This set of eight DVDs is packed with nostalgic Christmas cheer. It contains 27 holiday cartoons, including Howdy Doody's Christmas, Jingle Bells, The Little Match Girl, The Night Before Christmas, and Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer. You can also watch a dozen Christmas movie classics like "Scrooge" and Miracle on 34th Street. Plus, you get 49 Christmas TV episodes from shows like Ozzie & Harriet, Petticoat Junction, Burns And Allen, and my favorite: The Beverly Hillbillies. Best of all, it's great for the entire family.

And speaking of family, there's nothing like getting together for some game time around the holidays. This board game, in honor of the timeless classic A Christmas Story, is a best seller all year around.

Everyone loves to follow in Ralphie's footsteps as they travel around the board, racking up points by answering trivia questions from the famous film. Relive scenes like the Schoolyard, The Alley, the Department Store Santa, and "Double Dog Dares!" At the end of the game, what does the player with the most points win? What else? The BB gun! And of course, what Christmas would be complete without "the gift" of the year? Our 1/2-scale replica of the fishnet clad leg lamp is an actual working lamp inspired by the hit movie A Christmas Story. Every detail is recreated in tacky detail, right down to the 10" fringed lampshade!

What is it? Halloween movie or Christmas movie? I think it's both. Tim Burton's animated Nightmare Before Christmas is one of the most popular contemporary holiday movies.

Known for its quirky characters like Jack Skellington and its engaging story, the film has inspired Halloween costumes, Christmas decorations, bobbleheads, lamps and more. Now you can even play UNO with Jack, Sally, Mayor, Zero, and Tim Burton's other peculiar characters. You play it just like classic UNO, but the game has 112 customized cards, including the exclusive Oogie Boogie card. Or play Scrabble with Halloweentown's scariest characters. The game comes with all the regular Scrabble gear--except there a few twists. You get a set of super creepy instructions and a 50-word bonus dictionary, plus, the gameboard and letter tiles even glow in the dark!

Our reindeer watering systems lets you know when your tree needs water and makes it easy to water without having to crawl under the tree. You just put the reindeer ornament in your tree, run the water tube down the trunk and place water sensor in the tree stand. When the water level gets low, his nose lights up. Then you just pour water into his mouth until the light goes out.

The season's just getting started. I'll be back next week with more fun Things for the holidays.

See you then,
Bobby

Friday, November 6, 2009

Is It Christmas Yet?

I'm as bad as my nieces and nephews when it comes to waiting for Christmas. Once Halloween is over, I start getting impatient for Santa's arrival. So, this week I thought I'd show you some funny Christmas Things that will help you get a jump-start on the holiday season.

Of course, being me, I have to start with my favorite holiday poopie Things. Our Yule Doo ornament is a best seller every year.

The little faux doggy doo ornament comes tied up with a holiday ribbon and glitters with a sprinkling of "snow." Very festive, don't you think? Plus, I get a kick out of imagining the hundreds of Christmas trees across the country with little piles of doo hanging next to family heirloom ornaments. And for more fun with poo, try our Santa and Reindeer Poopers. Just press down on their heads, and Santa and his reindeer will "poop" some holiday candies for you.

Animated Christmas toys are always fun, especially when they come from Things. You never knew Mrs. Claus was so sexy--until now!

Our animated doll is dressed to kill in a red evening gown. Push her button and she launches into a steamy version of "Santa Baby." Listen to the sound clip. If she wasn't so racy, I could show you a picture of what Mrs. Claus has going on around back--suffice it to say, Oooo-la-la! No wonder Santa only wants to work one night a year! The Crazy Chicken might not be as bawdy as Mrs. Claus, but she's just as much fun. Sure she sings Jingle Bells in a voice only a mother hen could love, but this little diva will leave them clucking for more with her wing-flapping, head bobbing, swiveling action. Watch the video to see and hear for yourself.

What do you do when Santa has been a bad boy? Our motion activated Santa looks perfectly friendly and merry decorating a holiday table.

As your guests walk by, he even gives them a jolly greeting. But he's not the Santa they might expect! Watch their surprise when Santa suddenly turns and drops his trousers to show them a "cheeky smile." And our Flashing Santa reveals Santa's little secret. You just press his hand and he shimmies seductively as he opens his robe and flashes you. But wait! What's that he's wearing? Women's underwear! Check out the hilarious video. I think I'll put these two bad, bad boys together to see which one shocks people the most.

And for a perfect Redneck Christmas, we have just the Things you need. Cut the sleeves out of your plaid shirt, put one of your cars up on blocks, and start a tailgate party in your own front yard. Git 'er done with some of the best redneck ho

liday songs you'll ever hear sung by artists like Buck Owens and Charlie Daniels. The CD has fourteen merry tracks including "X-mas In Jail," "Leroy And The Redneck Reindeer," and the enduring redneck classic, "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer." Or choose one of our Redneck Christmas Books that will change your view of the holiday forever. Santa in red & green camo with flying possums? An Elvis impersonator as the ghost of Christmas past? Singer Travis Tritt narrates the stories on an audio CD while you follow along with the books. With sound effects and music, these re-tellings of favorite Christmas stories are a riot, which is why they are some of my favorite Things for the holidays.

We have some useful Things to help celebrate the season, too. I'll tell you more about that next week.

Until then,
Bobby

Friday, October 30, 2009

Electronical Things

Okay, I know "electronical" is not a word. I use it because it's funny. Why is it funny? Because it aggravates my sister. And Things that aggravate my sister are always funny. When I use made-up words, the exchange usually goes something like this:

Me: Can we conversate for a minute?
Her (looking up, annoyed): Conversate?
Me: I'm going to write about electronical Things for this week's blog and I need some ideas.
Her (rolling eyes): 'Electronical' is not a word. Neither is 'conversate.'
Me (grinning): Come on, I need you to help me idea-fy my blog.
Her (glaring): Go away.

So, no help from her, obviously. But that's okay. I found lots of cool electronic Things on my own.

Like this portable widescreen TV. You can watch your favorite programs while you're camping, hiking or tailgating on this digital color TV. It has a built-in scanner to locate local channels and it works with most cable hook-ups. The docking station gives three hours of watching and the stereo speakers produce really good sound. It includes a magnetic antenna, AV cables, remote control, and home and car power adapters. It's also great for an emergency TV during bad weather.

I love this Thing. It lets you convert your cassette tapes to CD or MP3 files. I still have lots of cassettes. I can't part with them because I can't get a lot of the music on CD. But the Tape2USB lets me upload tracks to my computer, where I can then burn them to CD or transfer them to my MP3 player. How cool is that? It even has built-in speakers so you can monitor the music while you're recording it on the computer, which allows you to catch and correct little glitches in the tapes. It comes with audio enhancing software that's really simple to use and it even includes a USB cable. And, since it's USB, so you don't need to install any drivers to make it work with a PC or a Mac.

Now that you've got all your favorite cassettes transferred to your MP3 player, you might want to share some of your golden oldies with a friend. The headphone splitter is cool little Thing that lets you share one headphone output. You just pop this headphone jack into your MP3 player, plug in two sets of headphones and two people can listen at the same time, in stereo. It even comes on a handy keyring, so you'll always have it when you need it.

Wanna play your groovy grooves for more than one person? We have a Thing for that, too! Our MP3 earphone speaker isn't just for your ears--it's for everyone. The oversized "earbud" is actually a speaker for your MP3 player. It gives out a big sound for such a little Thing, too. It also comes on a keyring clip that protects the headphone jack.

Now, this Thing is one of the coolest electronics I've seen this year. The TV Tuner Stick lets you watch streaming television on your PC. One of the best features of this Thing is the software is actually easy to install! Once that's done, you just attach the telescoping antenna to the device and plug into your USB port. It automatically starts to scan for local digital channels. Once you find a program you like, just sit back and enjoy. But the very coolest feature of this Thing is: you can actually schedule a recording of a TV show, then burn it to a CD or DVD. It even comes with a remote control.

Well, that's it for my favorite electronics this week. Now, I have to find a new topic and make up a word to go with it...

See you next week,
Bobby

Friday, October 23, 2009

Things Everyone Should Own

There are certain Things no one should have to live without. From fun to functional to just plain cool, here are my top five picks for must-have Things.

#5 - Siren Padlock Alarm: Secure your valuable Things with this padlock. It's a heavy duty lock that can be used to protect your shed, garage, bike, gate, tool box--anyThing that you could use a regular padlock on. When the lock is disturbed, it lets out a piercing alarm at 100 decibels for a full ten seconds. The sound drives away would-be burglars and alerts you at the same time. It comes with three keys and replaceable button batteries and it can also be used as a regular padlock without sound.

#4 - LED Gas Detector: Like a fire extinguisher and smoke detectors, this very useful Thing should be a staple in every household. Use it to check for gas leaks in pipes, hot water heater, propane grill tanks and more. It's easy to use since you don't have to calibrate it. It can sense propane, butane, acetylene and methane (natural gas). When it detects flammable levels of gas, the LED indicator lights up and an alarm sounds--before disaster strikes. I got one for everyone in my family.

#3 - Lawman Tech Watch: Our tactical watch is used by major law enforcement and military agencies all over the world. Crafted by Smith & Wesson, the all-black tactical watch has precision quartz Japanese movement and is water resistant to 30 meters. It has a backlight and a date window and the lightweight nylon band has a Velcro closure, so you don't have to worry about the buckle breaking.

#2 - Space Age Crystals: I've always loved science Things and our Space Age Crystal Growing Kit is one of my favorites this year. You can grow your own collection of thirteen mineral specimens including crystal clusters, geode crystals and single crystals that range from two to eight inches in diameter. Watch as your specimens start to grow within hours of dissolving the pre-mixed chemicals in water. The kit includes crystal growing chemicals, casting plaster, geode mold, accessories, detailed instructions and a booklet that tells you all you need to know about crystals.

#1 - Rainbow Shower Head: Some Things are just for fun. Our shower head lights up using the power of water pressure. Every two seconds, the rainbow LED colors cycle through a spectrum of red, blue, green, yellow, white, orange and violet. It's really easy to install--just replace your current shower head or attach it to a standard shower hose. Since it operates on water pressure alone, there are no batteries or other external power source required. When I first got mine, I just thought it was cool, but it's true that the combination of the rainbow lights and water are relaxing and revitalizing at the same time.

Those are my top picks of the Things our buyers have come up with lately. Of course, my top five changes all the time, so stay tuned for more. I'm sure I'll have another list of Things You Just Can't Live Without before you know it.

See you next week,
Bobby

Friday, October 16, 2009

Poopie Things

Here at Things, we love toilet humor. We've been having fun with farts, fart smells, fart sounds, doo-doo and all Things scatological since 1914. So, this week, I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on one of our favorite topics and show you some Things to help you have fun with poop, too.

One of my favorite new fart makers is the Pooter because, like the Whoopie Cushion, it's so simple. It's a soft rubber device with a hole in the top that makes some of the most realistic fart noises I've ever heard. You just conceal it in your hand and squeeze to create the soothing sounds of flatulence.

Just when I think I've seen everyThing, our buyers prove me wrong. Poo Poo In A Can is the first spray poop I've ever seen. Just spray and watch a big mess of authentic looking--and smelling--doo form into a pile. I've been having so much fun with this stuff around the office! The other day, I sprayed little piles around the warehouse and watched as people wrinkled up their noses and tried to figure out where the smells were coming from. Everyone who discovered one of my little "treats" got a free can of caca for themselves. I love my job!

These piles of poo aren't smelly, but they sure look real. The poop soap is my favorite because it's just so gross. It's an actual bar of soap, and it smells great, but who would want to wash their hands with it? I put some in the men's bathroom here at the office. We'll see if anyone touches it. Make a deposit in our poop bank and rest assured no one will "mess" with your savings. And here's a picture of the Smiley Poop I left on my sister's desk to say "thanks for covering for me" while I was on vacation. I thought it was a nice gift. She told me to grow up. Like that's going to happen!

We also have some poopie Things to wear, like our Butt Cheek Shorts. It looks like you're showing your good side, but the cheeks are really soft rubber and your bum is tucked safely inside the boxers. A great gag for Halloween or any time. Pair it with our adjustable Doo Doo Cap for maximum laughs.

And what better way to mark time than with a poo humor calendar. The Monthly Doos calendar is a bestseller every year. Filled with pictures of doggie droppings set against stunning scenes like majestic mountains, fields of flowers, rushing rivers and beautiful beaches, this calendar is a must for every doo-doo devotee. Eric Decetis' hilarious cartoon calendar celebrates the source of all poop. Each page features another funny look at butt cracks in everyday situations. Set it on your desk or hang it on a wall for your daily crack-up.

Learn what your poo is trying to tell you with our hilarious new book. It has illustrated descriptions of dozens of dookies, accompanied by a medical explanation (written by a doctor.) Look before you flush. What do you see? A floater? Probably a buildup of gas. It includes some of the funniest descriptions and explanations of poo including The Ring of Fire, The Hanging Chad, Soft Serve, The Snake, Pebble Poo and lots more. It also includes dung trivia, hysterical euphemisms for number two and some very unusual case histories. It's the perfect bathroom reader.

That concludes my weekly entry on excrement. Now what else can I find that grosses people out and makes them laugh at the same time?

See you next week,
Bobby

Friday, October 9, 2009

Things To Watch

It should be cooling down in Florida, but it's not. In fact, cities all over the Sunshine State have reported record heat and humidity in the past few days. And according to all the meteorologists, it's going to get hotter before it cools off. I love the climate here and I hardly ever complain about the weather, but I have to admit the heat is starting to beat me down. It's too hot to be outside for any reason. The golf course is unbearable and even the beach is sweltering. That's why I'm planning to cower in front of the air conditioning and plug in some DVDs until the next "cold" front arrives.

Since we're coming up on Halloween--my favorite holiday--classic horror flicks are at the top of my must-watch list. Up first is this newly-released Gorehouse Greats DVD. It's a collection of twelve horror movies from the 60s to the 90s and features mainstream stars like John Carradine and cult idols like Tor Johnson. The set includes: Blood of Dracula's Castle, Brain Twisters, The Devil's Hand, Madman of Mandoras (They Saved Hitlers' Brain), Nightmare in Wax, Prime Evil, Satan's Slave, Stanley, Terrified, Terror and Trip with Teacher.

Next is this collection that's so big it's an instant horror library in a single set.

It includes 50 classic horror movies on twelve two-sided DVDs. With some of my favorite horror actors like Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, Vincent Price, Fay Wray, Lon Chaney Sr., Lon Chaney Jr., and Tor Johnson, it's on my must-have list. Plus, there are some true classics featuring big stars, like The Little Shop of Horrors with Jack Nicholson and A Shriek in the Night with the lovely Ginger Rogers. Even off the screen, this is a star-studded collection. Dementia 13 was directed by Francis Coppola under the guidance of one of my favorite directors of all time: Roger Corman, "King of The Bs." I can't list all the movie titles in this blog, but you can see the full list here.

Another 50-movie pack is our Legends of Horror DVD set. This set is so compelling because it offers some of Alfred Hitchcock's early classics that aren't found in any other set. I can't wait to watch some of these movies like The Man Who Knew Too Much, Sabotage, and Secret Agent again and some of his silent films from the 20s that I've never seen before. You can also see Lugosi, Karlof and the Chaneys in this set, which includes two of my favorite horror flicks, Silent Night, Bloody Night and The Crimes of Stephen Hawke.

My Halloween-themed marathon won't just be horror movies. It has to include tales of the supernatural, too. Like this 50-episode collection of One Step Beyond, the series that presented 'real-life' incidents that included ghost sightings, disappearances, strange creatures and more. The series re-created these anomalous happenings for each episode, but didn't try to solve the mystery or provide answers. Designed to ask questions, not answer them, it always left me wondering, "What if?"

Next up is a five-DVD set that explores the scariest stories on earth. Haunted Histories takes you on a trip into the darkest recesses of evil around the world. With unflinching courage, this series looks into the face of the Devil himself, describes the mysterious ritual of exorcism (which is still practiced today), exposes the horrors of the Salem witch trials, ventures into the world of Voodoo and researches the story of Vlad Dracul, the sadistic prince who inspired the story of Dracula.

These collections should keep me busy until we get a break in the weather. Meanwhile, I'm off to find an AC vent to stand in front of.

See you next week,
Bobby

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