Things You Never Knew Existed: Poopie Things

Friday, October 16, 2009

Poopie Things

Here at Things, we love toilet humor. We've been having fun with farts, fart smells, fart sounds, doo-doo and all Things scatological since 1914. So, this week, I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on one of our favorite topics and show you some Things to help you have fun with poop, too.

One of my favorite new fart makers is the Pooter because, like the Whoopie Cushion, it's so simple. It's a soft rubber device with a hole in the top that makes some of the most realistic fart noises I've ever heard. You just conceal it in your hand and squeeze to create the soothing sounds of flatulence.

Just when I think I've seen everyThing, our buyers prove me wrong. Poo Poo In A Can is the first spray poop I've ever seen. Just spray and watch a big mess of authentic looking--and smelling--doo form into a pile. I've been having so much fun with this stuff around the office! The other day, I sprayed little piles around the warehouse and watched as people wrinkled up their noses and tried to figure out where the smells were coming from. Everyone who discovered one of my little "treats" got a free can of caca for themselves. I love my job!

These piles of poo aren't smelly, but they sure look real. The poop soap is my favorite because it's just so gross. It's an actual bar of soap, and it smells great, but who would want to wash their hands with it? I put some in the men's bathroom here at the office. We'll see if anyone touches it. Make a deposit in our poop bank and rest assured no one will "mess" with your savings. And here's a picture of the Smiley Poop I left on my sister's desk to say "thanks for covering for me" while I was on vacation. I thought it was a nice gift. She told me to grow up. Like that's going to happen!

We also have some poopie Things to wear, like our Butt Cheek Shorts. It looks like you're showing your good side, but the cheeks are really soft rubber and your bum is tucked safely inside the boxers. A great gag for Halloween or any time. Pair it with our adjustable Doo Doo Cap for maximum laughs.

And what better way to mark time than with a poo humor calendar. The Monthly Doos calendar is a bestseller every year. Filled with pictures of doggie droppings set against stunning scenes like majestic mountains, fields of flowers, rushing rivers and beautiful beaches, this calendar is a must for every doo-doo devotee. Eric Decetis' hilarious cartoon calendar celebrates the source of all poop. Each page features another funny look at butt cracks in everyday situations. Set it on your desk or hang it on a wall for your daily crack-up.

Learn what your poo is trying to tell you with our hilarious new book. It has illustrated descriptions of dozens of dookies, accompanied by a medical explanation (written by a doctor.) Look before you flush. What do you see? A floater? Probably a buildup of gas. It includes some of the funniest descriptions and explanations of poo including The Ring of Fire, The Hanging Chad, Soft Serve, The Snake, Pebble Poo and lots more. It also includes dung trivia, hysterical euphemisms for number two and some very unusual case histories. It's the perfect bathroom reader.

That concludes my weekly entry on excrement. Now what else can I find that grosses people out and makes them laugh at the same time?

See you next week,
Bobby

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